So I think I should inform ya'll of my new neighbors! Yes, neighbors. with an "s". they are a family of four. they are all IDENTICAL. kids look just like they're mother in fact. really unusual sleeping patters, they tend to be extra rambunctious at night, when I am trying to sleep, and/or thinking of possssssssibly going out to do something (a rare event. but sometimes I do go out at night : )
Well, let me share a little secret. These "neighbors" of mine. Not so much the average bear. Er, well, they are actually raccoons. YES...RACCOONS! FOUR of them. Four annoying, creepy, climbing, omnivorous, did I say annoying, raccoons!
Every night for the past month or so, without fail, they quietly prowl (or at least I swear they are out to get me) across my patio, climb up the gate, onto the overhead deck, sometimes up onto the roof, maybe even into the attic (or my poor neighbor's chimney and into her living room - talk about a PAN-IC attack!), or who knows where really. But the point is, that they are beginning to get a little to close for comfort.
The people who work next door leave out cans of cat food for the ten or so feral cats that also make their home in the near vicinity of my living quarters. (i dispise cats. WHERE am I living? A frickin zoo : ) NO. DALLAS. hellllllo raccoons, please leave me alone and go find your dinner somewhere else!
So at first I just saw one raccoon, and then one lovely, memorable night, my friend Mandy was over, and the motion sensor light when on. She commented, "Oh wow, look at that cat climb." Oh no no friend, I had to calmly inform her that that was not a cat.
BUT WAIT?!?! Even I was a bit startled at what I continued to see. Not one, but two....and three...and oh there's another...four! Yes a mother and her three babies had just finished their meal and were descending back down the fence and across my patio two feet on the other side of my glass door. Needless to say, we were SCREAMING, total girl style!
And that was just the beginning. The past couple times I have had friends over, I have to stop them before they leave, to do raccoon reconnaissance. No lie, I get out my heavy duty flashlight, scan the premises, and if I see one, I bang on the glass and yell at them. Classy. But hey, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do to protect her friends! And then I hope and pray, as they SPRINT out with all of their belongings, that a furry friend doesn't pounce on top of their head or chase them down the street.
So, in case you're reading this and you ask for my presence after, oh sunset, and I am a little hesitant to say yes, please don't take it personally.
I mean...I'm really sorry...but I MIGHT just have to stay in for the night. It's not you. It's the raccoons.